Aired July 29th, 2025
I wanna again welcome you to the 405 Coffee Break. Guys, get you a cup of coffee, glass iced tea, tall, cool glass of lemonade. Let's see what's happening. Spring wheat, $5.57 a bushel. 550 pound steer calf, $3.98.
OK Solberg:A butcher hog in Iowa, 55¢ a pound. And a 100 pound fat lamb in Billings is worth $2.16 a pound. But guys, there's more, much more. And the word for today is ambiguity. The quality of being open to more than one interpretation.
OK Solberg:Oh, we've all heard someone say something like, the politician's response was ambiguous, leaving the public unsure of his actual stance. You know, when words are spoken but you aren't sure what they just said, that fella's answer was real ambiguous. Like, he didn't wanna say yes or no. Now, that's the political side of the definition. But realize, we ourselves can accidentally be ambiguous if we don't select our words just right.
OK Solberg:Now, my dear sister Evy, who is a retired English teacher from Seattle, Washington, sent me this list that can be fall down funny if you read the short one liners in a fashion that the writer did not intend. Now they were all printed as headlines in actual newspapers. Not making this up. Listen to these headings that all can be read two different ways. The headline reads, miner refuses to work after death.
OK Solberg:Well, I would hope to shout. I know even a mechanic can't work after he dies. Can you imagine the boss shows up at the morgue and asks, where's Herbie? And the undertaker says, why he's in that coffin right next to you. Well, boss said, he was scheduled to work this morning.
OK Solberg:I know, said the undertaker, but he refused. Listen again. Miners refuse to work after death. Cracks me up. What I assume was actually meant by this headline is that there was a death at the mine and the miners realized how unsafe the conditions are, so they refused to work until safety standards are met.
OK Solberg:But it helps us remember, select your words carefully. Here's another one from a newspaper back east. The headline read, stolen painting found by tree. Well, I'll be darned. Wonder if the tree that found it was a Poplar or a Russian Olive.
OK Solberg:I know those Russian olives can really get around, but I have never heard of a tree actually finding a painting or anything else for that matter. Stolen painting found by tree. Now, I believe what the journalist meant was that a stolen painting was finally found after intense search, and it was located lying near a tree out beyond the city limits. These are dynamite, Evie. If you find more, send them my way.
OK Solberg:All all 10 that my sister sent me are good. But with the clock ticking and the sands and the hourglass quick quickly falling, I have time for only one more. Listen to a headline that actually was printed in the newspaper. It reads, milk drinkers are turning to powder. Man, that's a scary thought.
OK Solberg:I love milk. I love to drink milk. I could drink a glass of milk at every meal, but I don't wanna turn to powder. I heard about Lot Lot's wife in the bible turned into a pillar of salt, like it says in Genesis nineteen twenty six. But Lot's wife behind him looked back and she became a pillar of salt.
OK Solberg:I know that story, but I certainly did not know a guy could turn to powder if he drinks milk. What do you think, guys? What was the intent of the journalist who wrote milk drinkers are turning to powder? Possibly, these milk drinkers were tired of going to the store for fresh milk, so they decided to try powdered milk. Oh, wait.
OK Solberg:There's still time left. Listen. Listen to this one. Only four words. Iraqi head seeks arms.
OK Solberg:You know, guys, I always liked the game of mister potato head. Iraqi head seeks arms. Come on. Just one more. Police began campaigning to run down jaywalkers.
OK Solberg:Yikes. I read that, and I swore I'll go to the crosswalk every time after that. I don't wanna get run over by the police in his patrol car. Listen. Listen.
OK Solberg:They haven't kicked me out of the recording studio yet. Can you imagine a grandmother who would get a cordless drill and drill a hole in her own grandchild? That's terrible. But I read grandmother of eight makes hole in one. Evie, I haven't had so much fun since Mike Lowney won the world championship in the one liner contest.
OK Solberg:Keep sending them my way. So until next time, as you go out there, remember now, don't be bitter.